We talk a lot in Arkitekt about asking for what you need, and yes, it’s way way easier said than done.
Asking for what you need means taking up space, and taking up space means people will see you, and people seeing you means they might judge you, and people judging you means you might be found unworthy, right?
Unworthy of the thing you are asking for.
This is what we risk.
We risk putting ourselves out there and getting a verdict of “found wanting.” A sentence of “not enough.” Someone’s eye rolling opinion that there are other people out there who really need help and you should just suck it up, stop whining, and figure it out on your own.
It’s the backside of the American Dream: you’re a self-made person. You can make your life be whatever you want it to be so pull yourself up by your bootstraps and keep on truckin’. Which means you are responsible for you, and only you, and whatever happens in your life is either yours to take pride in or yours to feel shame about.
This kind of thinking is called individualistic. It is a way of viewing the world that says we are fundamentally alone.
We practice the opposite of this in Arkitekt.
In Arkitekt, we practice the belief that we belong to each other.
That we are an interconnected organism and when one person suffers, all suffer. When one person rises up all rise up. When one person has an anxiety attack, we all take responsibility to be to each other the experience of LOVE we long to find in the world.